Rounders Movie Quotes - Mike McDermott
Jo
Knish
Mike McDermott
Petra
Professor Petrovsky
Teddy KGB
Worm
MIKE: Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker
in your first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker.
(SOUNDCLIP)
MIKE: If you're too careful, your whole life can become a
fuckin' grind. (SOUNDCLIP)
MIKE: Gimme three stacks of high society. (SOUNDCLIP)
MIKE: No-limit Texas Hold 'Em is the Cadillac of poker. (SOUNDCLIP)
MIKE: The judges' game. I'd heard about it for years on the
street, before I was even in law school. A rotating group
of ten or twelve judges, prosecutors, and professors. They
all have money, and in my playing days it would have been
pretty sweet to have any one of them owing me favors. Only
problem is, no one can get in the game anymore. One rounder,
Crispy Linetta, sat under some pretense, but when they found
out he was a pro, he couldn't cross the street without a legal
hassle. Even his regular club, Vorshay's, got shut down. Place'd
been open since 1907. (SOUNDCLIP)
MIKE: I tell ya, it's hard leaving that game. An open invitation
to lay with those lambs - but I'm retired. (SOUNDCLIP)
MIKE: The truth is I can always find games, though. Easy
games, tough games, straight games, crooked games, home games.
I could turn this truck onto the Jersey turnpike and be at
the Taj in two hours. (SOUNDCLIP)
MIKE: In Confessions of a Winning Poker Player, Jack
King said, "Few players recall big pots they have won
-- strange as it seems -- but every player can remember with
remarkable accuracy the outstanding tough beats of his career."
Seems true to me, 'cause walking in here I can hardly remember
how I built my bankroll, but I can't stop thinking how I lost
it. (SOUNDCLIP)
(Mike lost his $30,000 bankroll with a full house of nines
over aces to Teddy KGB's hidden aces over nines.)
MIKE: Amarillo Slim, the greatest proposition gambler of
all time, held to his father's maxim: You can shear a sheep
many times, but skin him only once. (SOUNDCLIP)
MIKE: Why does this still seem like gambling to you? I mean,
why do you think the same five guys make it to the final table
of the World Series of Poker EVERY SINGLE YEAR? What, are
they the luckiest guys in Las Vegas? It's a skill game, Jo.
(SOUNDCLIP)
MIKE: I knew it. I fuckin' knew it. (SOUNDCLIP)
WORM: Look, I got certain needs I gotta attend to, okay.
I mean, I'm overdo.
MIKE: Good man, I was starting to wonder about you. I thought
maybe, you know, the boys upstate, you know, brought about
a few changes in you. (SOUNDCLIP)
MIKE: Would you stop fucking around, for five goddamn
minutes for once in your fucking life?
WORM: Whoa, Jesus, what happened? My old man just walked
in.
MIKE: I should fuckin' beat the shit out of you the way he
used to. (SOUNDCLIP)
WORM: Remember when we found this place, man?
MIKE: Yeah, I remember when we found thsi place, when
you were hiding out from Tommy Manzy, 'cause you thought he
was going to fucking pound you into an oblivion.
WORM: Yeah, now, see, what did I ever do to that guy?
MIKE: You fucked his mother. (SOUNDCLIP)
WORM: You know what, stop worrying about me so much, okay,
I'm turning things around. I'm not gonna let anyone drop a
garbage can on my head.
MIKE: No, no, you're gonna get out of the way and it's
gonna land on me. (SOUNDCLIP)
MIKE: I told Worm you can't lose what you don't put in the
middle. DEAL. But you can't win much either. (SOUNDCLIP)
MIKE: The rule is this: you spot a man's tell, you don't
say a fucking word. (SOUNDCLIP)
MIKE: Well, you feeling satisfied now, Teddy? 'Cause I can
go on busting you up all night. (SOUNDCLIP)
MIKE: You play for a living, it's like any other job. You
don't gamble, you grind it out. Your goal is to win one big
bet an hour. That's it. Get your money in when you have the
best of it, protect it when you don't. Don't give anything
away.
MIKE: Always leave yourself outs. Applies to a player's life
away from the game same as it does at the table.
MIKE: You were lookin' for that third three, but you forgot
that Professor Green folded on Fourth Street and now you're
representing that you have it. The DA made his two pair, but
he knows they're no good. Judge Kaplan was trying to squeeze
out a diamond flush but he came up short and Mr. Eisen is
futilely hoping that his queens are going to stand up. So
like I said, the Dean's bet is $20.
MIKE: Put a guy like me in a weak game like that, the cards
themselves hardly matter. A fish acts strong, he's bluffing,
acts meek, he has a hand.
( Mike discovers Jo has left him.)
MIKE: You won't find any note. She's not the type to leave
on. I always told her she'd be a good player. She'd know when
to release a hand the minute it couldn't win.
MIKE: The poker room at the Mirage in Vegas is the center
of the poker universe. Doyle
Brunsen, Johnny Chan, Phil
Helmuth - the legends - consider it their office. Every
couple of days a new millionaire shows up wanting to beat
a world champion. Usually they go home with nothing but a
story.
MIKE: All the luck inthe world isn't gonna change things
for these guys. Theyr'e simply overmatched. We're not playing
together, but we're not playing against each other, either.
It's like the Nature Channel. You do'nt see piranhas eating
each other, do you?
MIKE: Generally, the rule is, the nicer the guy, the poorer
the card player.
MIKE: Fold or hang tough. Call or raise the bet. These are
decisions you make at the table. Sometimes the odds are stacked
so clear there's only one way to play it. Other times, like
holding a small pair against two over cards, it's six to five,
or even money, either way. Then it's all about feel, what's
in your guts.
(Mike describes playing with Johnny Chan.)
MIKE: "Y'have it?" he asks me. "Sorry John,
I don't remember." I got up and walked straight to the
cashier. I sat with the best in the world, Knish, and I won.
TEDDY: That ace could not have helped you.
MIKE: (laughs) You're right Teddy, the ace didn't help.
(pushes chips towards the center and flops down his cards)
MIKE: I flopped a nut straight.
MIKE: I feel like Buckner walking back into Shea.
MIKE: We can't run from who we are. Our destiny chooses us.
(His girlfriend says they don't have time for sex now.)
MIKE: I'll be really quick. You won't feel a thing.
MIKE: I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but
all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage.
- from Rounders:
A Screenplay
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