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Rounders Soundclips

  • MIKE: Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in your first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker. (SOUNDCLIP)

  • MIKE: If you're too careful, your whole life can become a fuckin' grind. (SOUNDCLIP)

  • MIKE: Gimme three stacks of high society. (SOUNDCLIP)

  • KNISH: You're making a run at it, aren't you? Rolling up a stake and going to Vegas. (SOUNDCLIP)

  • MIKE: No-limit Texas Hold 'Em is the Cadillac of poker. (SOUNDCLIP)

  • KNISH: Happens to everyone. Time to time, everyone goes bust. You'll be back in the game before you know it. (SOUNDCLIP)

  • MIKE: The judges' game. I'd heard about it for years on the street, before I was even in law school. A rotating group of ten or twelve judges, prosecutors, and professors. They all have money, and in my playing days it would have been pretty sweet to have any one of them owing me favors. Only problem is, no one can get in the game anymore. One rounder, Crispy Linetta, sat under some pretense, but when they found out he was a pro, he couldn't cross the street without a legal hassle. Even his regular club, Vorshay's, got shut down. Place'd been open since 1907. (SOUNDCLIP)

  • MIKE: I tell ya, it's hard leaving that game. An open invitation to lay with those lambs - but I'm retired. (SOUNDCLIP)

  • MIKE: The truth is I can always find games, though. Easy games, tough games, straight games, crooked games, home games. I could turn this truck onto the Jersey turnpike and be at the Taj in two hours. (SOUNDCLIP)

  • ROY: That's the fourth time you done played that bitch of spades on my ass. (SOUNDCLIP)

  • WORM: Whatever. Get in it and drive me far away from here. (SOUNDCLIP)

  • MIKE: It was a real blood game over at KGB's place.
    WORM: You sat down with the Mad Russian and he emptied your pockets. (SOUNDCLIP)

  • MIKE: In Confessions of a Winning Poker Player, Jack King said, "Few players recall big pots they have won -- strange as it seems -- but every player can remember with remarkable accuracy the outstanding tough beats of his career." Seems true to me, 'cause walking in here I can hardly remember how I built my bankroll, but I can't stop thinking how I lost it. (SOUNDCLIP)

  • MIKE: Really, well I'm not much of a cardplayer.
    BARBARA: Bullshit. Worm told me that's precisely what you are...My cut is twenty-five percent. (SOUNDCLIP)

  • WORM: You know what -- fuck you and your never-ending string of boats, okay? (SOUNDCLIP)

  • MIKE: Speaking of which, are you even gonna get a job? Are you gonna look? Or are you just gonna go back to printing those credit cards?
    WORM: Hey.
    MIKE: Huh, you gonna go away again?
    WORM: I wasn't printing, I was distributing. Distributing -- it's different. (SOUNDCLIP)

  • MIKE: Why does this still seem like gambling to you? I mean, why do you think the same five guys make it to the final table of the World Series of Poker EVERY SINGLE YEAR? What, are they the luckiest guys in Las Vegas? It's a skill game, Jo. (SOUNDCLIP)

  • PETROVSKY: The last thing I took away from the yeshiva is this: We can't run from who we are, our destiny chooses us. (SOUNDCLIP)

  • MIKE: Things haven't been that smooth on the homefront -- so, tone it down a little.
    WORM: Tone what down, motherfucker?
    MIKE: Great. (SOUNDCLIP)

  • MIKE: I knew it. I fuckin' knew it. (SOUNDCLIP)

  • WORM: Just like the sayings says, you know?. In the poker game of life, women are the rake. They are the fuckin' rake.
    MIKE: What the fuck are you talkin' about? What-what saying?
    WORM: Well I don't know. There oughtta be one. (SOUNDCLIP)

  • WORM: You know what cheers me up when I'm feeling shitty?
    MIKE: What?
    WORM: Rolled up aces over kings.
    MIKE: Is that right?
    WORM: Yeah. Check-raising stupid tourists and taking huge pots off of them.
    MIKE: Yeah?
    WORM: Stacks and towers of checks I can't even see over. Playing all-night high-limit Hold'em at the Taj, "where the sand turns to gold."
    MIKE: Fuck it, let's go.
    WORM: Don't tease me.
    MIKE: Let's play some fuckin' cards. (SOUNDCLIP)

  • WORM: Look, I got certain needs I gotta attend to, okay. I mean, I'm overdo.
    MIKE: Good man, I was starting to wonder about you. I thought maybe, you know, the boys upstate, you know, brought about a few changes in you. (SOUNDCLIP)

  • KNISH: I was actually gonna try and make some real money tonight, but in honor of Mike's Ali-like return to the ring, I'll sit with you all for a while. (SOUNDCLIP)

  • MIKE: So, what do you owe him?
    WORM: I don't know, by his crazy fuckin' gorilla math? Like fifteen. (SOUNDCLIP)

  • MIKE: Would you stop fucking around, for five goddamn minutes for once in your fucking life?
    WORM: Whoa, Jesus, what happened? My old man just walked in.
    MIKE: I should fuckin' beat the shit out of you the way he used to. (SOUNDCLIP)

  • WORM: Remember when we found this place, man?
    MIKE: Yeah, I remember when we found thsi place, when you were hiding out from Tommy Manzy, 'cause you thought he was going to fucking pound you into an oblivion.
    WORM: Yeah, now, see, what did I ever do to that guy?
    MIKE: You fucked his mother. (SOUNDCLIP)

  • WORM: You know what, stop worrying about me so much, okay, I'm turning things around. I'm not gonna let anyone drop a garbage can on my head.
    MIKE: No, no, you're gonna get out of the way and it's gonna land on me. (SOUNDCLIP)

  • MIKE: I'm gonna raise. 1000 straight.
    TEDDY: Very aggressive. A new day, and you won't be pushed around. But I reraise -- 5000. (SOUNDCLIP)

  • TEDDY: Just like a young man, coming in for a quickie. I feel so unsatisfied... (SOUNDCLIP)

  • MIKE: You know what, I got my five grand here, and that's just fine by me. I'm going home.
    TTEDDY: Fine, it's a fucking joke anyway. After all, I am paying you with your money.
    MIKE: What'd you say?
    TEDDY: Your money, I am still up twenty grand from this last time I stick it in you. (SOUNDCLIP)

  • MIKE: I told Worm you can't lose what you don't put in the middle. DEAL. But you can't win much either. (SOUNDCLIP)

  • TEDDY: Lays down a monster. Should have paid me off on that. The fuck did you lay that down? (SOUNDCLIP)

  • MIKE: The rule is this: you spot a man's tell, you don't say a fucking word. (SOUNDCLIP)

  • MIKE: Alright, I'll call the two grand -- I'll gamble. Don't splash the pot.
    TEDDY: You on a draw, Mike? Go away, this one is not good for you. And in my club, I will splash the pot whenever the fuck I please. (SOUNDCLIP)

  • MIKE: I flopped the nut straight.
    TEDDY: Motherfucker! (speaking Russian) Motherfucker! That is it! (SOUNDCLIP)

  • TEDDY: This son of bitch -- all night, he check check check. He trapped me! (SOUNDCLIP)

  • MIKE: Well, you feeling satisfied now, Teddy? 'Cause I can go on busting you up all night. (SOUNDCLIP)

  • TEDDY: He beat me...straight up. Pay him...pay that man his money. (SOUNDCLIP)

  • JO: Hey, call me -- if you need a lawyer.
    MIKE: I will -- and I will. (SOUNDCLIP)
- soundclips from gotwavs.com

 

Poker Stuff:

Bad Beats and Lucky Draws

Caro's Book of Poker Tells

cover

Doyle Brunson's Super System

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